EXTREMELY FUNS

A couple was riding a boat while the girl was telling about her unwillingness to marry the boy.

Boy: what??? so,why do you think I won't be d perfect one 4 U?
Girl : coz I don't think you are brave enough to rescue me when I need.
Boy: Dear, have you forgot how I saved you life when your boat sank 3 yrs ago? can't you rem...ember?
Girl : well,but you are not intelligent enough to come to my need I think...
Boy: (staring at his gf adventurously) Then who do you think sank your boat that day??!!

Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever.
The guy replies: Thanks for the warning.

A man traveling at 130 mph on the highway was stopped by highway police.
Man:"Sorry,officer was I driving too fast?"
Officer:"No,sir.U were flying too slow."

Teacher: Now, Johnny, tell me frankly do you say prayers before
eating?
L-Johnny : No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.

Teacher: Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and
stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?
L-Johnny: Brotherly love.

Teacher : What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is
green and one is blue with red spots!
L-Johnny: Yes it's really strange. I've got another pair of the same at
home.

L-Johnny : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?
Father : No. Why d...o you ask that?
L-Johnny : Well, where did you get THIS mummy then?

Teacher: "George Washington not only chopped down his father's
Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father
didn't punish him?"
Little Johnny : "Because George still had the axe in his hand."

Two guys were picked up by the cops for smoking dope and appeared in court before the judge.
The judge said "You seem like nice young men,and I'd like to give you a second chance.I want you to go out this weekend and try to pursuade people to give up drugs forever.I'll see you back in court Monday.
"Monday, the two guys ...were in court,and the judge said to the first one"How did you do over the weekend?"
"Well,I persuaded 17 people to give up drugs forever." "17 people? That's wonderful. What did you tell them?"
"I drew two circles like this: O o
and told them this (the big circle) is your brain before drugs and this (small circle) is your brain after drugs."
"That's admirable," said the judge. "And you, how did you do?"
"Well,I persuaded 156 people to give up drugs forever."
"156 people! That's amazing! How did you manage to do that!"
"Well,i used the same two circles. I pointed to the small circle and told them, 'This is your asshole before prison...."

An American businessman was in Japan.
He hired a local hooker and was going at it all night with her.
She kept screaming "Fujifoo, Fugifoo!!!", which the guy took to be pleasurable..
The next day, he was golfing with his Japanese counterparts and he got a hole-in-one.
Wanting to impress the clients, he said "Fujifoo". The ...Japanese clients looked confused and said "No, you got the right hole."

How a BOY withdraws cash from ATM.
1. Park the car__
2. Go to ATM Machine__
3. Insert card__
4. Enter PIN__
5. Take money out__
6. Take ATM Card out__
7. Drive away__

How a GIRL withdraws cash from ATM
1. Park the car__
2. Check makeup__
3. Turn off engine__
4. Check makeup__
5. Go to ATM__
6. Hunt for ATM card in... the purse__
7. ...Insert card__
8. Hit Cancel__
9. Hunt in purse for chit with PIN written on it__
10. Insert card__
11. Enter PIN__
12. Take cash__
13. Go to car__
14. Check makeup__
15. Start car__
16. Stop car__
17. Run back to ATM__
18. Take ATM card__
19. Back to car__
20. Check makeup...__

The child comes home from his first day at school.
Mother:"what did you learn today?"
kid:" Not enough.I have to go back tomorrow."

Two high school boys were talking in a whisper while the math teacher was writing algebra on the board...
*boy #1: what's the definition of caught in the act?
*boy#2: when teacher saw you're cheating on the final exam..
*boy#1: nope.. that's only a coincident..
*boy#2: i don't know man.. what is it then?
*boy#1: caught in th...e act is: when you and your girlfriend and her mother got caught by her father while doing a threesome.
*boy#2+the whole class+teacher: WHAT???